Kikku's Blog

I am totally infatuated. I mean, no matter what I do, I can never seem to shake you from my mind. I thought at first I was forcing my self to have a crush on you but that's not the case at all. You are the coolest person I know and you don't even try (hah). There are a thousand different things I want to say to you and I know that if I do it would totally change the dynamics of our relationship and... I want that. And I think you feel the same. I don't want us to change as friends. I want to be soooooo much more than that for you.

-I want to bring you peppermint hot chocolate when you're sick 'cause I know you like it.
-I want to play music with you when the guys in your band are being jerks (which is all the time.)
-I want to listen to Gregory and the Hawk in autumn and Bitter:Sweet in the winter with you.
-I want to help you make your cute music videos.
-I want to watch those country sunsets and the city sunrises with you.
-I want you to help me be a better person 'cause I know you could


I wish that I could be there for you right now but everything seems to get in the way. I know you would tell me that it's for a reason or something like that but, damn it, I want to be with you now. I'm worried that I'll get to see you again and all those worries I will rush back. At the same time, I know that won't happen because I know you. And you finally know me. I know I could be wonderful for you. I feel like you make me a better person. I'm a pretty bad kid and I'm very stuck in my ways but you actually make me want to change and stop all this delinquent behavior.
In short, I want to be with you. And even though it may be a long time until we see each other again. I'll wait. And I have faith that you'll wait too.

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know we're unprepared
but I don't care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
and it's true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see
maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

Alright so, I encountered a club called "Beautiful Romance" (if anyone's a member of this club, disregard this blog) that the Anti-Yaoi club wanted to affy with. So, the opening paragraph in the club description is as follows:

"This club is for fans of serious and cute romance, and prefers it with less comedy. One important thing: this club is a haven for heterosexual romance only. No shounen/shoujo ai or yuri/yaoi."

Um, implication that yuri / yaoi isn't 'serious' or 'cute'? Regardless, this wasn't what rubbed me the wrong way.
I joined the Anti-Yaoi club because I dislike yaoi. I don't like the fandom associated with it and I don't prefer the genre because the encounters I've had with it weren't pleasurable. However, when I joined, I found reasons like this:

"yaoi make me sick yaoi is sick & wrong, along with yuri & hentai"
"^ has good taste and morals"
"yaoi basically yuck!! so is hentai, yuri and ecchi... i mean what is wrong with them!! that is so perverted and twisted, i'd rather die than watching any of those things"
"Well I dislike Yaoi for many reasons:
1. It's a sin
2. It's very disgusting
3. It ruins the image of our beloved bishies
4. It's an anime site parasite"

I can't explain it well but... these really grind my gears. The "Beautiful Romance" club thing just happened to be the last straw and pushed me to write this blog.

The purpose of this was venting. It's not an "Anti-Homosexual Anime" or an "Anit-Sexual Anime" club so I'm not in understanding as to why yuri, ecchi, and hentai are included in one's decision to join said club. I feel like I've faced alot of hostility in the club because I do like yuri and I do watch hentai and, frankly, it's unfair. It's not just this club either. I'm getting such a negative attitude from alot of MAL members and I just don't get why. I mean, now that I wear a yuri fangirl tag (via my sig) wherever I go, is that, like, permission to patronize me? Why am I being patronized in the first place?

I'm left with questions like "What the fuck?" and "What the hell's your problem?" I don't have much else to say about this. I'm actually really hurt, upset, and angry. I just happen to be really good at disguising it. I have nothing else to say about this situation. Comment if you'd like.

In order to tell this story properly I have to start from the beginning.

Well, after waking up at around two thirty today I decided that I wanted to watch Mnemosyne. Fed up with playing my previously downloaded episodes, I settled for biting the bullet and watching the fifth episode raw. I opened up my player, pressed play, and snuggled up for a wonderful afternoon with my newly favorite'ed anime. It didn't hit me that I didn't know what was going on until a highly informational moment passed me by. -_- i thought Alright, no big deal, the action will explain the motive. I know a little Japanese; I'll just pick up what I can. Needless to say THAT DIDN'T WORK. The following is a collection of quotes that I shouted at my laptop while watching. (In no particular order) (There are spoilers so beware)


AND THE ENDING. I'm not going to reveal anything but let's just say that I was so riled up that I couldn't contain the emotion and gave myself a cramp.
Now my leg hurts and I have to go get a hair cut. -_-

ONLY OTAKU GIVE THEMSELVES LEG CRAMPS FROM WATCHING ANIME

I've recently got into the habit of taking quizzes so I thought I'd go ahead and show you guys a few results. It's an interesting way to get to know someone. ^_^

Which Kannazuki no Miko Character are You?


What Bleach Character Are You?


Which Maria-sama ga Miteru Girl Are You Most Like?


^Heh. Heh. I was in love with a NUN. XD

Which SOS Brigade Member Are You?


What Zanpakutou Would You Have?


Which Naruto Ninja Village do you belong in?
Your home is Sunagakure, the Village hidden in the Sand. Suna is located in the country of Wind and is one of the five ninja-countries. In the Naruto-series, some very remarkable ninjas come from there, for example Gaara. Shukaku, a demon of Sand has been sealed into Gaaras body for the villages protection and to make him a useful weapon. Now, Gaara is a very dark and mysterious character, even rather crazy and insane, because no one ever loved him. You're dark and mysterious as well, unique and maybe a bit crazy or freaky. But that doesn't matter, because you love yourself. Go on like that!

I know it may not be uber fancy or really well done or anything, but I am in LOVE with it. I haven't a clue why. I often find myself sitting pointlessly staring at it. I'll spend several minutes just scrolling up and down it, clicking various spoilers and whatnot. *sigh*

Anyway...Here's something fun for you.