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Once upon a Tuesday that felt suspiciously like a Sunday, in a town shaped like a Dorito chip, a cult of weeaboos known as the Shinobi Otaku Order gathered in the food court of a local IKEA. Their mission? To summon Hatsune Miku into reality using seven Dragon Balls, a can of Arizona Green Tea, and the sacred fan-subbed VHS tape of Naruto vs Goku: Ultimate Ninja Rumble 9.

Leading them was Supreme Otaku Sensei Chad-kun, who wore a trench coat made entirely of waifu body pillows and spoke only in broken Japanese he learned from anime opening themes. His second-in-command, KawaiiDesu69, was a sentient cat-ear headband powered by Mountain Dew and regret.

The summoning ritual began precisely at weeb o'clock (that’s 4:20 AM EST in anime time). As the group chanted “baka baka senpai uwu sugoi~” in unison, the sky turned purple and a portal opened—out stepped Danny DeVito, cosplaying as Sailor Moon.

“What the f**k,” muttered Chad-kun in a tone both reverent and confused.

Danny DeVito said nothing. He dabbed once, twerked twice, and vomited a USB drive containing every episode of One Piece in 4D. The USB then exploded into confetti made of expired Pocky.

Suddenly, IKEA employees (actually undercover agents from the Anti-Weeb Bureau of America, or AWBA) burst in wielding giant baguettes. A slow-motion battle ensued. Screams of “Nani?!” and “Yamete kudasai!” echoed through the halls. A confused elderly woman trying to buy a futon was accidentally knighted as the new Hokage.

Meanwhile, in the corner, a lone K-pop stan summoned a BTS member to challenge the weeaboos to a dance-off. The floor turned into DDR arrows. The fate of all fandoms rested on who could perfectly execute a backflip moonwalk to Tank! from Cowboy Bebop.

In the end, no one won. The portal closed, Danny DeVito vanished into a puff of cherry blossom mist, and Chad-kun ascended into the anime realm, leaving only his waifu trench coat behind.

Legend says, if you whisper “Notice me, senpai” into a ramen cup at exactly midnight during a blood moon, you can still hear the faint rustle of a Naruto headband in the wind.

Random, but apologizing after the fact for @ing you because of...well...your name lol.

ING

Wow, that is quite high. :O

You're welcome.

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