Vazzrock The Animation

Jizzcock The Powerpoint Presentation.

Vazzrock The Animation is more a test of endurance than an anime. You sit and you watch what I think is supposed to be an idol show, but the challenge is to see how long it takes before you start pressing the ‘skip forward 10 seconds’ button multiple times, let alone just dropping the show in it’s entirety out of sheer boredom.

To describe the story as a story is an insult to story telling as it’s more akin to a large circle jerk than a constructive narrative. Granted the premise is about idols sitting and doing a live stream to promote ... a concert, but the only thing that I could see streaming was the piss disguised as dialogue coming out of their mouths in probably the most extreme example of ‘talk-no-justu’. Think about an episode of Naruto where Naruto and Sasuke stand still weaving never ending hand signs for 20 minutes in silence. That’s what it feels like to watch this anime. They talk and talk and talk, but nothing actually happens.

If you thought you’d get attached to any of the members of VAZZY or ROCK DOWN don’t worry, you won’t. ‘Too many characters syndrome’ is here in full force as the show starts off by introducing us to not one, not two, not three, not four, not even five, but TWELVE main characters. Not just characters, MAIN characters. That’s not adding the multitude of side characters. Each episode is supposed to focus on one or two of them, but I genuinely couldn’t tell you who is who, what their deal is, which band they belong too and why you should care because they all look, feel and act like each other. I have just finished episode 4 as I’m writing this and I cannot for the life of me tell you anything about this shows content. I don’t think there was even a song and dance number… in an idol anime.

I can tell you that the animation is pretty hard on the eyes to watch in motion when the characters aren't sitting perfectly still talk-no-justu-ing. Obviously it’s not on the level of Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer and it’s atrocious, vomit inducing animation, but their are so many missing frames to a characters movement that it reminds me of when I used to try making cartoons using Microsoft Powerpoint back in 2004. Even the OP which would usually have better production values is pretty shoddy. You’d think a show where the only thing characters do is talk studio PRA would put a bit more effort into the moments when movement happens, but nope, they properly weren’t paid enough to give a fuck.

I have been desperately researching, trying to find out if VAZZY and ROCK DOWN are like, real idol groups with real people as members or a shitty mobile gotcha-game or something hence the “The Animation” part of the anime's title. It feels like the former considering the end goal of the show is to promote a concert. However, nobody seems to have given a fuck when making this anime so why should I give one? Who this is for? The fans? I don’t think even the fans of these bands would sit through this... If their are any? Vazzrock is an enigma to me. One that I can’t be bothered to solve and honestly, nor should you.

1/10 The Worst.

You know all those cute-girls-doing-cute-things the anime that float around every season?

Introducing.... Hot-Dudes-Doing-Hot-Things the anime!

Yes.

By the way the above is literally all you really need to know to decide if or not to watch this show.

No, there's not really any story. It was a rather random experience from episode to episode.

... No, there's not really any characterization/character development. Just enjoy the hot guys doing hot things on the screen each episode with little to no relevance to the episode before it.

The visuals are ikemen, I guess. If they weren't, there would be nothing at all worth watching for anyone. The sound is ok.

Yes, this is the whole review.

No, I am not writing a full length one like I usually do for other shows.

Have a good day!

2/10